Can you even smile?

Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.―Dyer 

xfinite_sociology_can you even smile

Look at the world. Tell me what you see.

You see billionaires. You see celebrities. You see entrepreneurs. You see success. You see the money. You see cool cars. You see luxury. You see fame. You see trends. You see confidence. You see failure.

Here’s what you don’t see.

You don’t see happiness. You don’t see nature. You don’t see freedom. You don’t see peace. You don’t see balance. You don’t see fulfillment. You don’t see the passion. You don’t see love. You don’t see memories. You don’t see you.

All it takes is a Peek-A-Boo before the baby starts laughing. Their laughter is so pure without restraint, hesitation, or fear of being judged. There is no self-control, discipline, or restriction. They laugh when they are happy, and cry when they are sad. They are totally satisfied when a bottle of milk lands in their hands.

What about us? We are worried that our smiles show the gap between our teeth. We think laughing creates more wrinkles. We are scared of the stare we get if we laugh too loudly. We try to smile a certain way to prove we are attractive. We fake a perfect smile for our Facebook profiles. We even think smiling at someone first makes us a loser.

We’ve been told we are weak when we cry. We’ve been told to shut it, hide it, hold it. We’ve been told the lies over and over again until we believe that we are not supposed to express ourselves to the extreme because that would turn out to be our weakness. We are taught to follow the rules and behave like adults.

Once upon a time, we were those kids. We were happy with what we had once. We were capable of smiling so wide it reached our ears. We were born free. Our laughter could be heard from outside of planet earth. Our curiosity got the best of us and we were not even afraid of putting our hands into flame. But things have changed. We have ripped off our emotions, but we still think we are not good enough, aren’t we?

We didn’t automatically become zombies. We were trained to be ones. Actually, we were trained to be the unsatisfied zombies. We had to sit. We had to listen. We had to do as we are asked. We learned rules. We are told what is best for us. What is the point of doing what is best for us if we are not even happy doing it? We learned how to follow. But they expect us to lead.

Will you be remembered for your fancy car? Will you be remembered for your mansion? Will you be remembered for being famous? Maybe you will. The question is: is that how you want to be remembered? For the things you own? For the stuff you make? For the money you have? Are those things even you? Will you be able to smile like when you were 4-year-old when you achieve it all? What is the plan after you have it all? Do you keep wanting more?

We want so much to the point where we don’t know what we want. We all want happiness, but the only things that make us laugh are Internet memes. We want friends, but all we get is likes and comments. We want to take care of our family, but we scroll through our phone during a gathering.

We are not happy. We say we want things to make us happy, but how could that make us happy if we forget to appreciate the moment? The world made us zombies. Now, we are making our children zombies too. How could we live our lives like this? How could we want a bright future for the children while we train them to be like us?

Rules are for people who don’t know what to do. It is pointless to use rules when you are not even stuck. So let your children paint their bedroom wall. Compliment their drawings. Tell them they are clever to be able to see animal-shaped clouds in the sky. Play with the stuffed animals which keep the nightmares away. Make them realize they are beautiful. Make them realize their laughter is the best music in the world.

Shhhhhh… Don’t be ashamed of your feelings. Don’t be ashamed of being happy. Don’t be ashamed of your loved one misbehaving. Why would you care what people think so much? Your entire universe has only you and your loved ones. Nobody else. Why don’t you cut it out and laugh until your lungs burst with joy? Why don’t you stop worrying about the outside and focus on the inside? What is the money for if you no longer know how to smile?

Make peace with your mind and smile. Make yourself beautiful inside out. Do what you love and only what you love. Feel to the bottom of your heart. Let it shine. People will say your light is too bright, but you shouldn’t acknowledge them and ignore the real you. Why is it so hard to do what feels right? Life could be so much easier, you know.

Look at the world. Tell me what you see.

You see your dream. You see your love. You see your pain. You see your emotion. You see your growth. You see your worth. You see all colors molding into one beautiful life. You see the life behind your smile.

You need to see yourself or the things you want won’t work for you. Who are you? Are you happy? If you are not even happy now, how will you ever be? If you rely on something else to make you smile, is it your smile anymore? Prove to yourself that you don’t need anything to smile. When you smile, your brain will think you are somehow happy. When you are filled with positivity, you believe in your dream. Just like that, you are already halfway ahead of the version of you that’s just being a zombie.

Take your time. Your dream can wait.

You can procrastinate. Just don’t procrastinate to be happy.




29 thoughts on “Can you even smile?

  1. This post gets me thinking about a couple questions.
    – By whom are we indoctrinated to be well conformed and obedient? How have they done it? Why?
    – How do the words “happiness, sacrifice, and responsibility” jump into play when it comes to what separate a kid and from an adult? Is there a certain level of balance we have to maintain?

    This post does actually cover many interesting topics.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think there will always be one part of our brain which is wired to be obedient because society has taught us it is what is right. And deep down there, all of us just want to be good. The reason is people just want to put a dent in the universe; they do not like to accept that we are nowhere or nothing. This, however, has led humans to think that they need to chase it all to be able to be happy. They forget that no matter how fast the world moves, they should remember who they are and what really gives them meaning.

      Kids have curiosity, imagination, and exploration. Adults start with why, motivation, and readiness. Kids are an open space splashing and absorbing everything in every way. Adults think they know everything there is to know, so they shut themselves and only want what they should want. We can learn a lot from kids because, with them, everything is possible. They are not drowned in facts, numbers, and figures. It really is all about learning from each other, actually.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. AMAZING!!!! I am so excited that you found the book related to my entire article. I’ve looked it up and am super impressed by the concept of Sociological Imagination. It actually depicts how our personal decisions are super private, but they are influenced by the wider society. One example strikes me hard and opens my eyes.

      The example goes like this: a person grows among the family who does a lot of gathering and drinking. Later in life, that person is diagnosed with obesity. The question is: is it really the person’s fault to make a decision to eat and drink unhealthily or is it his family? Sociological Imagination explicates that it is totally a personal choice which led the person to do so, but his personal choice has already been carved out of social choice.

      That got me thinking. If we go to exercise, is it really for our health? Or do we workout to increase our productivity and clear our head so we can perform better in our workplace? Or do we want to connect with other people at the gym? Or do we want to build up muscle and look skinny because it is cool? Whichever reason, we’ve already been made into believing it is good for us.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. “If we go to exercise, is it really for our health? Or do we workout to increase our productivity and clear our head so we can perform better in our workplace? Or do we want to connect with other people at the gym? Or do we want to build up muscle and look skinny because it is cool? Whichever reason, we’ve already been made into believing it is good for us.”

        Are you questioning yourself whether or not our decision to do exercise might have been influenced by our social environment/context?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. While riding my bicycle this morning, I thought about the concept behind “Sociological Imagination” again. To what effect will our realization of the fact that our preference or decision has somehow been influenced by our social context make on our daily life or decision making process? How can this awareness be used to benefit us?

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Copernicus once said that “To know that we know what we know, and to know that we do not know what we do not know, that is true knowledge”. The thing is it might not be all that pleasant to realize that there is a layer of control established automatically to organize the society. However, one can use the knowledge to understand more about the relationship between oneself and the social context. One can thrive to learn more and see all connections instead of being completely controlled by the trends. Without the wish to fulfill what is needed in society, one can finally dive deeper into oneself and seek the path to be happy.


  2. You can procrastinate.Just don’t procrastinate to be happy… Ahhh loved every single word of it. This is so inspiring. For the last two months, I have been sinking into this depressing feeling because I was hoping for things that could not seem to become mine. Reading your post just shook me to the core that what if I would not become happy after having those things… Thank you for this beautiful reminder that your happiness should not be associated with other things or people, it should be solely associated with yourself.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. My dear Rameen. Keep shining and be happy. Live like the world is yours and you control its story. Breathe like each one is a package of your most beautiful moments. You deserve it. You deserve a life well lived.

      Liked by 2 people

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