They wore their strange beauty like war paint. ― Holly Black
Tell me if I am wrong, but I think there are two types of people.
People who leave out other people,
And people who get left out.
And there is a category in between. They are the people who try to please people who hurt them and leave out the people who accept them. I know everyone wants to be a good person within. It is possible that you have a lot of friends and you would like to invest in who matter most to you. It is also possible that you are in a toxic zone where you repetitively fight too hard for the things that are not meant to be yours.
To the people who get left out. I know it hurts. It hurts when people tell you to shut down your emotion as if it is a tangible wooden door. It hurts when people smile at you but it does not quite reach their eyes, making you question whether you are good enough. It hurts when people order you to “knock it off” because you already have what it takes―a beating heart, adequate body parts, enough food―to be alive. It hurts when everything tries to break you apart and still expects you to be alright.
Here is the secret no one dares say: it is difficult to fit in, and it is difficult to stand out.
Who says that all the differences could be your greatest strength? Is it still a strength if the entire world is on your shoulder? Is it still a strength when people identify themselves as a “we” and there is an occasional “you”? Is it poisonous to the whole planet if you are included in the “we”?
Tell them how you feel. People are so busy judging they are no longer good at reading. It is tempting to criticize, because it is hard to appreciate. The capacity for humans to take things for granted is infinite. Let them know. If they really wish for you to stay, they will make it happen. If they do not, you should know when to set them free.
Truth be told, if they have rejected you multiple times, they are most likely going to do it again. Hey, wait a minute! They say you can only fail so many times before you succeed, right? Let me make this clear! The word “rejection” here does not mean failure. It is not like Kennedy’s “only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly”, but more like Norton’s “you either live who you are or die being someone else”. Do not waste your time and cross oceans for people who would not jump puddles for you. Do not set your soul on fire to keep others warm. You only have approximately 26 million minutes left to live. Live. It.
Give up on them does not make you a bad friend. It makes you a better friend. It teaches them a lesson that if they do not build a gate to protect their friendship, they cannot expect that gold mine to always be in their backyard. You are not entitled to devote your life to them. You are also not required to mend the friendship when they keep breaking it. People come and go. If they deserve to live their way, so do you. Do not be afraid to leave behind one more reason to make you unhappy.
Remember that you are the definition of yourself and your truth, not anybody else. Just because you do not fit in here, does not mean you do not fit in anywhere. The right people will not show up at the wrong time. Build your world, people will follow it. There are people like you out there, wondering if you exist. Stay intact, focus on yourself. Do not let their opinions ruin you and what you value in life. Do not let them make you feel that you are less than perfect. Remember what Tay Tay said? “Shake it off. People throw rocks at things that shine.”
People do not respect people who agree to everything. Do not try to please them and betray your conscience. This will make them think that you are their follower and they can make you do anything. Make your voice heard. Ask yourself. What is it that makes you different? Just like business strategy, sharpen that superpower of yours and be confident. Fight for what you believe in. Fight for the people who deserve you. Learn from the people who leave you out. Forgive them. Because forgiving means you have more time and energy to find the right people.
Be different. Be undefined. Be unstoppable.
You could be anything you believe in.
You could be flying across the continents, or run after that bus you missed.